In the interest of research for this blog, or at least that is what I am telling myself, I signed up for a 3-month subscription to match.com. Am I ready to meet an absolute stranger for coffee ? I don't know.....perhaps......though quite a few of them say they are looking for a lasting long term relationship, or for their "last first date." Yeah, right !
I have been a "member" for three days now and have received a few "winks" and a few e-mails. Would I go out with someone who winked at me on the street ? NO. So why would I be interested in someone who winked at me on line ? If you ask me it's still sleezy, no matter the venue.
One man wrote and said I looked like an angel. HaHaHa. Unless, of course, he meant "Rubenesque", but I doubt if he knows that word considering the spelling in the rest of his
e-mail.
What I have found is that in the 48-58 year age group, most of the men are for some reason 51-years old. They all talk about themselves WAY TOO MUCH, they all think they are "fit and athletic",they all describe themselves as having hazel eyes, and they seem to be very interested in hunting and fishing. Another interesting thing. It asks where your favorite place in the world is, and so far, to a man, they've all said Maui. Okay, I like Maui as much as the next person, but favorite place in the world..... I don't think so. Is Maui really the to-go vacation spot for divorced, hazel-eyed hunters ?
Is what is out there in the dating pool divorced guys who like to shoot things, trailer camp, drink beer and scratch themselves...... and dream of a lifetime trip to Maui to sit on the beach and look at the young girls in bikinis?
If just one person said he had blue eyes, liked cooking, had a sense of humor and loved Italy, I would be winking at him like a maniac!
Here's the other weird thing. You post your picture on these sites, and put a certain geographical area of interest...... for instance, 60 miles from your current postal code.
Yesterday I was at Target in Napa and some man kept following me around with his cart. After we "accidentally" bumped into each other for the fourth time I was getting pretty creeped out. Then I thought, "Oh God, maybe he recognized me from my picture on the dating website." It really freaked me out.
Some tips on using the dating websites from someone who has had 3 days of experience:
1) If their profile says they are interested in someone age 18 to 80.... RUN
2) If they e-mail you and say "let's get off this site and e-mail privately", RUN.... and yes, this happened today. These sites are monitored, so if the person contacting you, on the first e-mail, wants to ditch the monitored site, he is probably a maniac of some sort. Oh, did I mention this is the same guy who thinks I look like an angel ?
3) Be aware of the sign in names. If the potential "date" signs in with something like "machobodyman," really think twice before winking. I am also a little leery of the ones whose profile names are "reallyasweetheart" or "tooniceaguy." Trying a little too hard to make themselves look good, I'd say.
I do know of people who have met the love of their lives on this site, so it does have merit. It's just that you have to sort though the weeds to find the daisies...... or as my mom used to say,
"You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you meet prince charming." OMG, that reminds me, on one guy's profile he says that you have to be a good kisser or he is not interested..... just sends chills down your spine, doesn't it ?
But Dom (wink wink), kissing is important (wiiiink wiiiink).
ReplyDeleteMatch.com is, I hear, a pretty good site. But, you know that the numbers are in your favor regardless. There are probably five men for every woman on the singles sites (and some it's probably more like 20 to 1) so you get to pick and choose.
And the guy in Target may have recognized you. I met the woman, Mary, I'm dating right now online and we emailed irregularly back and forth for a couple of months before we actually met. But, about three weeks before that first get together, I was meeting a new colleague in the department, an extraordinarily attractive German woman in her mid-20s, for coffee. Unbeknownst to me, and pure coincidentally Mary and her mother were also having coffee at the very same coffeehouse that morning.
They had just come from walking their dogs and were decked out in sweats and old jackets and they just happened to sit down less than 10 feet from our table. Mary recognized me from my online photo, and nudged her mom who immediately wanted to come over and say hello and find out who this woman was I was having coffee with.
I was oblivious to this whole thing. I'm not good at recognizing people from their photos or even in recognizing people out of their normal contexts. I finished coffee with my friend, Alevtina, and we left for a walk. Mary emailed me later and asked if I ever went to such-and-such coffeehouse. I had—twice in the last three years, so I was pretty sure she had seen me there with Alevtina.
It was a weird coincidence but it was also over a year ago so it clearly didn't doom the relationship. Or, perhaps I just kiss well.
tim, I always thought you had the look of a good kissser !
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