An interesting thing happened last night. I got a call from my sister's ex-husband, who I haven't seen or heard from in about 8 months. He said I came up as a "perfect match" for him on e-harmony. OMG. I laughed so hard I about peed my pants.
Don't get me wrong, I love my sister's ex. He is the father of my wonderful nephews, and he will always be my friend. However, he was really stupid in choosing alcohol and other substances over his wife and three boys. A pretty unforgivable offense.
It is pretty funny because I stopped checking the e-harmony site because they were sending me names of southern baptists, or people like in the Footloose movie whose profiles said they didn't drink, didn't dance, didn't listen to music, etc. No thanks! Then I come up on the profile of someone that I know does all those things and more. Not quite sure how that all works, but suffice it to say, my mother would have a heart attack and die if I told her I got matched up with him. Me, I am still laughing about it !
Speaking of mothers, it seems like I have lots of them, all calling me this morning to tell me to not write so much on my blog. I am getting interesting comments from family members who think I am sharing too much. The thing is, I have always been someone who writes. I used to journal before it was popular ! I haven't written anything in a long time.... too busy raising kids, working, taking care of people, etc. Now that I have time again, I am really enjoying it, and my hope is that one person who is over 40 and trying to date again will read it and get a laugh, and maybe some advice. It's not easy !
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
No Lights, Big City
The first night in the big city, and I get a call at 10:30p.m. that when Max plugged in his lamp, the fuse blew and he was left in the dark ! The call was to see if he was supposed to try to flip the switches in the fuse box. YES. Didn't work. An exciting first night ! The landlord came today to replace the fuse. He brought extras with him, smart man, and showed Max how to replace them. After he took care of things, the landlord wrote me an e-mail to tell me that Max was doing well, seemed settled in, and that Max told him he was "enjoying every minute" of apartment life. Imagine a landlord writing to me to let me know all is okay. What a nice man !
I am kind of enjoying myself too! I am sipping a glass of wine. Josie and the Pussycats is about to come on tv. No one is coming in to change the channel. The dogs are resting on their new clean beds. Who knew things could be so relaxing ?
Oh, and did I mention I have a date ? The blind date guy, who will be hereafter referred to as "Mr. Blind" called to ask me out on Saturday for dinner and a movie! Guess what..... I said yes !
I can't believe it myself. He's going to pick the movie, I'm going to pick the restaurant. I'll update after the date. Let's see what movie he picks ! I want to see Shutter Island, but he'll probably pick something he thinks I would like to see, like Valentine's Day or Alice in Wonderland. Okay, I do want to see Alice, but I am going to that on Sunday for my God daughter's 12th birthday.
The other part of this is that I am supposed to be going out with Chemistry.com man later this week, but he hasn't written yet to let me know a specific day....... maybe I'll be busy. He should have booked in advance ! ha ha ha. I really thought there was potential there.
I may actually have to get an engagement calendar !
I am kind of enjoying myself too! I am sipping a glass of wine. Josie and the Pussycats is about to come on tv. No one is coming in to change the channel. The dogs are resting on their new clean beds. Who knew things could be so relaxing ?
Oh, and did I mention I have a date ? The blind date guy, who will be hereafter referred to as "Mr. Blind" called to ask me out on Saturday for dinner and a movie! Guess what..... I said yes !
I can't believe it myself. He's going to pick the movie, I'm going to pick the restaurant. I'll update after the date. Let's see what movie he picks ! I want to see Shutter Island, but he'll probably pick something he thinks I would like to see, like Valentine's Day or Alice in Wonderland. Okay, I do want to see Alice, but I am going to that on Sunday for my God daughter's 12th birthday.
The other part of this is that I am supposed to be going out with Chemistry.com man later this week, but he hasn't written yet to let me know a specific day....... maybe I'll be busy. He should have booked in advance ! ha ha ha. I really thought there was potential there.
I may actually have to get an engagement calendar !
Monday, March 1, 2010
the Blind leading the date
Went on a blind date over the weekend ! Actually it was a "meet a friend of mine, it's not a date" kind of blind date, but he did call later and ask for my telephone number. That's progress.
It was actually a pretty good evening. The blind guy was very nice, but wouldn't tell me what he did for a living, and has two ex-wives. Are we sensing some red flags here, perhaps? I think I have to learn a lot more about him.
I spent the entire weekend helping my kids move to their wonderful new digs in SF. I can't wait to go spend the weekend there, if they'll let me. It's a quiet night here alone.... just me and the dogs and the cat. Messy but quiet. I have alot of cleaning to do. I was under the impression that if the kids rooms got messy enough they would be so grossed out that they would clean them. Color me wrong ! Now they've moved out and I can finally go in with lysol, rubber gloves, and a ten foot pole and start the battle against the grime !
It was actually a pretty good evening. The blind guy was very nice, but wouldn't tell me what he did for a living, and has two ex-wives. Are we sensing some red flags here, perhaps? I think I have to learn a lot more about him.
I spent the entire weekend helping my kids move to their wonderful new digs in SF. I can't wait to go spend the weekend there, if they'll let me. It's a quiet night here alone.... just me and the dogs and the cat. Messy but quiet. I have alot of cleaning to do. I was under the impression that if the kids rooms got messy enough they would be so grossed out that they would clean them. Color me wrong ! Now they've moved out and I can finally go in with lysol, rubber gloves, and a ten foot pole and start the battle against the grime !
Thursday, February 25, 2010
D for Disgusting
If you read my earlier blog today, you'll know it's all about the "D" words. I have one more to add..... DISGUSTING. I just took apart the bathroom sink, which wouldn't drain, cleaned all of the gunk out, and put it back together. I now have gunk under my fingernails, a bathroom sink that still won't drain, and as a bonus, the sink now leaks !!!!! Guess I have to go get D for Draino.
I'm not very good at this grown up handyman thing. Please God, send me someone with a tool belt, stat !
I'm not very good at this grown up handyman thing. Please God, send me someone with a tool belt, stat !
A nice personality
I have discovered that saying "you're beautiful inside and out" in on-line dating circles is about equivalent to "you have a nice personality." Read...... I am not interested in you at all.
Yes, I broke down last night and wrote him a short e-mail. No, he did not write back. Did not even acknowledge the e-mail. How does it feel when someone meets you and then won't even answer your e-mails? It feels pretty damn bad. Gosh, you sounded good on the screen, but once I met you, YIKES ! I could understand it if, at the time, he had said "you know, you're really not what I am looking for."
I would have been okay with that. But he said nice things and asked if he could see me again. Honesty, folks, honesty. A little goes a long way.
I am having a day of depression and discovery. A big "D" day. It is almost the one-year anniversary of Todd's death. (depression). My new manager at work is demanding all of these absolutely ridiculous reports, assessments, etc. and I don't have time to sell a damn thing. She also is insisting on coming here on March 4 (the day before the 1-year-anniversary of Todd's death), to go over her plans for the company. I don't trust her as far as I can throw her ( which isn't far), and I think her timing is just cruel. She wanted to come on the 5th, but I told her no as I would be in no mood to talk to her. I explained the situation, and she said she'd come on the fourth instead ! Is it imperative that she see me next week ? No. She had planned a wine country weekend for her girlfriends and I guess wanted her flight to be paid for by the company, or some such nonsense. (demented - another "D".)
As for the future of the company, do I see the printing business supporting me for next twenty years ? NO. Do I get insurance, or retirement, or any of those good things ? NO. Do I have a job... YES. I know I am better off than many, many people that don't have jobs. I have to keep reminding myself of that.
The "discovery" comes in to play because next week, for the first time in my life, I will be alone ! Max and Lisa have found an apartment in San Francisco and will be moving in. I am so happy that Max is ready to start his life again. It has been a year of him being torn between his own life, and protecting me ! It makes me cry every time I think about what the kids have been through. I have spent a year trying to prove to Max that I can mow the lawn, feed the dogs, fix the car, etc. all by myself. It is like pushing a very big bird out of the nest. I am so happy that he is wanting to leave, but gosh, I will be lonely. I can't remember the last time I cooked for one. I think the dogs are going to become fat from leftovers.
You know, it's different when you are widowed than when you get a divorce. This isn't something I wanted, asked for, or planned. It was not a choice made by either party. By now, when the kids left home, Todd and I were supposed to travel, do things around the house together, maybe find a hobby or two. We were actually looking forward to being empty nesters. How do you feather a nest for one ?
***** just a note. Called church and asked if I could have a mass said for Todd on the 5th. The lady said the fifth was already taken, but would I want a different day. I told her if Todd died again, I'd let her know the new date ! Yes, I am a brat, but COME ON PEOPLE ********
Yes, I broke down last night and wrote him a short e-mail. No, he did not write back. Did not even acknowledge the e-mail. How does it feel when someone meets you and then won't even answer your e-mails? It feels pretty damn bad. Gosh, you sounded good on the screen, but once I met you, YIKES ! I could understand it if, at the time, he had said "you know, you're really not what I am looking for."
I would have been okay with that. But he said nice things and asked if he could see me again. Honesty, folks, honesty. A little goes a long way.
I am having a day of depression and discovery. A big "D" day. It is almost the one-year anniversary of Todd's death. (depression). My new manager at work is demanding all of these absolutely ridiculous reports, assessments, etc. and I don't have time to sell a damn thing. She also is insisting on coming here on March 4 (the day before the 1-year-anniversary of Todd's death), to go over her plans for the company. I don't trust her as far as I can throw her ( which isn't far), and I think her timing is just cruel. She wanted to come on the 5th, but I told her no as I would be in no mood to talk to her. I explained the situation, and she said she'd come on the fourth instead ! Is it imperative that she see me next week ? No. She had planned a wine country weekend for her girlfriends and I guess wanted her flight to be paid for by the company, or some such nonsense. (demented - another "D".)
As for the future of the company, do I see the printing business supporting me for next twenty years ? NO. Do I get insurance, or retirement, or any of those good things ? NO. Do I have a job... YES. I know I am better off than many, many people that don't have jobs. I have to keep reminding myself of that.
The "discovery" comes in to play because next week, for the first time in my life, I will be alone ! Max and Lisa have found an apartment in San Francisco and will be moving in. I am so happy that Max is ready to start his life again. It has been a year of him being torn between his own life, and protecting me ! It makes me cry every time I think about what the kids have been through. I have spent a year trying to prove to Max that I can mow the lawn, feed the dogs, fix the car, etc. all by myself. It is like pushing a very big bird out of the nest. I am so happy that he is wanting to leave, but gosh, I will be lonely. I can't remember the last time I cooked for one. I think the dogs are going to become fat from leftovers.
You know, it's different when you are widowed than when you get a divorce. This isn't something I wanted, asked for, or planned. It was not a choice made by either party. By now, when the kids left home, Todd and I were supposed to travel, do things around the house together, maybe find a hobby or two. We were actually looking forward to being empty nesters. How do you feather a nest for one ?
***** just a note. Called church and asked if I could have a mass said for Todd on the 5th. The lady said the fifth was already taken, but would I want a different day. I told her if Todd died again, I'd let her know the new date ! Yes, I am a brat, but COME ON PEOPLE ********
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
not your kind of dancing
He hasn't called yet, and I hate that I am checking the computer for an e-mail every day. I really shouldn't care if he calls again or not. If it was meant to be, it was meant to be. What I should look on the whole experience as is getting the first date over with. AARRGGHHH.
I did buy tickets to Earth, Wind and Fire at the Sonoma Jazz Festival, and there is an extra ticket just in case I meet someone I want to invite. I guess that's a step in the positive direction !
So Lisa and I were at Cheesecake factory last week having lunch and this old (my age), short, greasy, troll-like waiter came and brought our food. He said he was having a good day because he was going dancing after work. To be polite I asked him what type of dancing. He looked at me and said "not your type of dancing......her type of dancing" and sidled up to my 19-year-old. "Club dancing" he said to Lisa, with a little wink. WTF !!!!! Number one, what the hell does he perceive as my kind of dancing? The Waltz ? The Foxtrot? The Funky Chicken ?
And what is he doing flirting with my little girl? Did he really think Lisa was going to push aside her avacado rolls and start dancing in the aisles with him ? It's like when men yell things out of the car window. What are you going to do, chase them to the next stop sign and hop in their car because they are SO SEXY to have been shouting suggestive comments as they drove by. Oh, just what I'm looking for, a loudmouth in a pick-up truck !
The waiter left and Lisa and I looked at each other in stunned silence and said, "did that just happen?" Both of us were horrified.
The dating world isn't easy for a 48-year-old but it isn't easy for a tall, blonde
19-year-old either. That should make me feel better, but it really doesn't. It is really just sad.
I did buy tickets to Earth, Wind and Fire at the Sonoma Jazz Festival, and there is an extra ticket just in case I meet someone I want to invite. I guess that's a step in the positive direction !
So Lisa and I were at Cheesecake factory last week having lunch and this old (my age), short, greasy, troll-like waiter came and brought our food. He said he was having a good day because he was going dancing after work. To be polite I asked him what type of dancing. He looked at me and said "not your type of dancing......her type of dancing" and sidled up to my 19-year-old. "Club dancing" he said to Lisa, with a little wink. WTF !!!!! Number one, what the hell does he perceive as my kind of dancing? The Waltz ? The Foxtrot? The Funky Chicken ?
And what is he doing flirting with my little girl? Did he really think Lisa was going to push aside her avacado rolls and start dancing in the aisles with him ? It's like when men yell things out of the car window. What are you going to do, chase them to the next stop sign and hop in their car because they are SO SEXY to have been shouting suggestive comments as they drove by. Oh, just what I'm looking for, a loudmouth in a pick-up truck !
The waiter left and Lisa and I looked at each other in stunned silence and said, "did that just happen?" Both of us were horrified.
The dating world isn't easy for a 48-year-old but it isn't easy for a tall, blonde
19-year-old either. That should make me feel better, but it really doesn't. It is really just sad.
Friday, February 19, 2010
A First Date !
I went on a date this morning ! I actually met someone I met on chemistry.com for a cup of coffee, and yes, it was JUST a cup of coffee. Actually, he had cold tea but assured me he wasn't Mormon !
I am happy to say that it was not bad at all. In fact, I think he is a really nice man and I could be friends with him. He has two late-20s aged kids, and 3 grandchildren, owns his own company and liked to talk about himself (typical man!)
I wasn't sure how to set up the meeting. Do I do the flower in a book thing like in "You've Got Mail" or do a wear a bow in my hair (God forbid.) I just left it at,
"meet you at 9:30 at EDK." He wrote back and said "I'll be the one wearing the big smile!" Can I get a collective AWWWWWWWW.
When we met he asked me how online dating was going, and I told him that I have decided that most of the men on the site are going through a mid-life crisis, and I am NOT who they are looking for ( he agreed! ). I said I was more like who they left at home when they had their midlife crisis. He laughed and said that wasn't true at all. Okay , points for me for humor and points for him for laughing and saying it wasn't true.
When I got home I sent him a little "nice meeting you" e-mail..... I am polite that way ! He wrote back and said I was beautiful inside and out, and he would love to see me again. God, he gives good e-mail !!!
I am happy to say that it was not bad at all. In fact, I think he is a really nice man and I could be friends with him. He has two late-20s aged kids, and 3 grandchildren, owns his own company and liked to talk about himself (typical man!)
I wasn't sure how to set up the meeting. Do I do the flower in a book thing like in "You've Got Mail" or do a wear a bow in my hair (God forbid.) I just left it at,
"meet you at 9:30 at EDK." He wrote back and said "I'll be the one wearing the big smile!" Can I get a collective AWWWWWWWW.
When we met he asked me how online dating was going, and I told him that I have decided that most of the men on the site are going through a mid-life crisis, and I am NOT who they are looking for ( he agreed! ). I said I was more like who they left at home when they had their midlife crisis. He laughed and said that wasn't true at all. Okay , points for me for humor and points for him for laughing and saying it wasn't true.
When I got home I sent him a little "nice meeting you" e-mail..... I am polite that way ! He wrote back and said I was beautiful inside and out, and he would love to see me again. God, he gives good e-mail !!!
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