pick your poison

Sitting in my darkened bedroom this morning trying to stave off a migraine, I realized just how old I am getting. Really, when you were a kid your day was all about games and friends and what was on tv. As a teenager you talked to your friends about the opposite sex, gossiped about other people, talked about how stupid your teachers were.... .then it was the "getting to know you" kinds of conversations, then talking about your job, your kids, your vacation plans. Now that I am pushing 50 and the people I hang out with are the same ago or older, the talk has actually turned to aches and pains, and to surgeries and medicines. The other night at dinner it was appendectomies, who had their tonsils still, what allery medicines were the best.....I felt like I should have been in an old folks home.

How does this relate to dating over 40, which is the whole reason for my blog ? KNOW YOUR MEDICINES AND THE MEDICINES OF THOSE WHOM YOU ARE DATING.
Not exactly a conversation you want to have, but practical none the less.
For example, if you are back on birth control after a 20-year-hiatus, you may not know that if you are taking an antibiotic it makes the birth control pills less effective. I think that's important information......I know I don't want to have child at this advanced age. Do you ?

I laugh every time I think of those commercials for viagra and other male enhancement drugs that have the warning that says "if you have an erection that lasts over four hours, call a doctor." Todd used to say "hell, if I have an erection that lasts over four hours I'm calling everyone I know !" Hahahahaha.
Ladies, I know the thought of four hours of solid enjoyment is tempting, but really, in reality imagine the stamina it would involve. And if your partner is panicking and trying to get to the phone to call his doctor, and you are still trying to enjoy the ride, I think things might get a bit awkward.

My darling Mr. Blind is on medication for his depression. I know this because of all the pill bottles on the side of his nightstand, and yes, I did look up the side effects on the internet! His declaration of "this is what they give the porn stars so that they can stay erect longer" needed internet confirmation ! (God, men are wierd. Do they not know that sometimes it would be better to just not say anything at all ?) So a few weeks ago things were not going so well with Mr. Blind. He was just not that into me, was cancelling dates, etc. I thought he was trying to break up with me....and I was trying hard not to care because I am not sure I could go through that again, and it would also make my mother right who says I should date lots of people and avoid a broken heart again ! Anyway, I finally demanded an explanation, and guess what ? He had stopped taking his anti-depression medicine because he felt so happy all the time because of our relationship. Now as flattering as that is, it is not exactly the way you are supposed to handle long-term medications, and, if I hadn't asked what the heck was going on, I would never have known that his funk was caused by his self-diagnosed going cold turkey on his medicines. Now that he has started taking them again we are back to our happy selves, and things are working out well. Also I now know two important things.... 1) he is happy with our relationship, and 2) he does want to try to get off the medication at some point. I can help him with this by urging him to get the advice of his doctor, because last time I looked, neither he nor I had a medical degree.

At a recent get together I learned from a wonderful lady we'll call Louise.... that's not her real name but she does get called this accidentally quite often for some odd reason ..... she doesn't look like a Louise...... anyway, I digress.....I heard from Louise that after ten years on match.com she has finally found someone to date. Can you believe anyone would pay the monthly fee on a dating site for ten years without any good matches, and still continue with the site? Hope springs eternal. Anyway, Louise has found her match. I offered her my "know his medications" advice, as he is in his late 70s and I am sure must take a pill or two. She thought I was talking about viagra and sex and said "I don't even know if he can do that anymore. I don't really care, either." Okay, there is so much I don't understand in that sentence! And if she doesn't care about that, why is that the first place her mind went when I mentioned medications ? I thought I was offering her good advice. My God, he could be on heart pills, he could be taking something for alzheimers, he could be taking hormones because he used to be a woman. Who knows ! I am not condoning snooping around in someone's medicine chest..... but I am saying, if the person you are sharing your life with pops a pill in front of you, ask what it is. Once you get the clinical name, look it up on the internet. Knowledge is power !