If you read my earlier blog today, you'll know it's all about the "D" words. I have one more to add..... DISGUSTING. I just took apart the bathroom sink, which wouldn't drain, cleaned all of the gunk out, and put it back together. I now have gunk under my fingernails, a bathroom sink that still won't drain, and as a bonus, the sink now leaks !!!!! Guess I have to go get D for Draino.
I'm not very good at this grown up handyman thing. Please God, send me someone with a tool belt, stat !
Thursday, February 25, 2010
A nice personality
I have discovered that saying "you're beautiful inside and out" in on-line dating circles is about equivalent to "you have a nice personality." Read...... I am not interested in you at all.
Yes, I broke down last night and wrote him a short e-mail. No, he did not write back. Did not even acknowledge the e-mail. How does it feel when someone meets you and then won't even answer your e-mails? It feels pretty damn bad. Gosh, you sounded good on the screen, but once I met you, YIKES ! I could understand it if, at the time, he had said "you know, you're really not what I am looking for."
I would have been okay with that. But he said nice things and asked if he could see me again. Honesty, folks, honesty. A little goes a long way.
I am having a day of depression and discovery. A big "D" day. It is almost the one-year anniversary of Todd's death. (depression). My new manager at work is demanding all of these absolutely ridiculous reports, assessments, etc. and I don't have time to sell a damn thing. She also is insisting on coming here on March 4 (the day before the 1-year-anniversary of Todd's death), to go over her plans for the company. I don't trust her as far as I can throw her ( which isn't far), and I think her timing is just cruel. She wanted to come on the 5th, but I told her no as I would be in no mood to talk to her. I explained the situation, and she said she'd come on the fourth instead ! Is it imperative that she see me next week ? No. She had planned a wine country weekend for her girlfriends and I guess wanted her flight to be paid for by the company, or some such nonsense. (demented - another "D".)
As for the future of the company, do I see the printing business supporting me for next twenty years ? NO. Do I get insurance, or retirement, or any of those good things ? NO. Do I have a job... YES. I know I am better off than many, many people that don't have jobs. I have to keep reminding myself of that.
The "discovery" comes in to play because next week, for the first time in my life, I will be alone ! Max and Lisa have found an apartment in San Francisco and will be moving in. I am so happy that Max is ready to start his life again. It has been a year of him being torn between his own life, and protecting me ! It makes me cry every time I think about what the kids have been through. I have spent a year trying to prove to Max that I can mow the lawn, feed the dogs, fix the car, etc. all by myself. It is like pushing a very big bird out of the nest. I am so happy that he is wanting to leave, but gosh, I will be lonely. I can't remember the last time I cooked for one. I think the dogs are going to become fat from leftovers.
You know, it's different when you are widowed than when you get a divorce. This isn't something I wanted, asked for, or planned. It was not a choice made by either party. By now, when the kids left home, Todd and I were supposed to travel, do things around the house together, maybe find a hobby or two. We were actually looking forward to being empty nesters. How do you feather a nest for one ?
***** just a note. Called church and asked if I could have a mass said for Todd on the 5th. The lady said the fifth was already taken, but would I want a different day. I told her if Todd died again, I'd let her know the new date ! Yes, I am a brat, but COME ON PEOPLE ********
Yes, I broke down last night and wrote him a short e-mail. No, he did not write back. Did not even acknowledge the e-mail. How does it feel when someone meets you and then won't even answer your e-mails? It feels pretty damn bad. Gosh, you sounded good on the screen, but once I met you, YIKES ! I could understand it if, at the time, he had said "you know, you're really not what I am looking for."
I would have been okay with that. But he said nice things and asked if he could see me again. Honesty, folks, honesty. A little goes a long way.
I am having a day of depression and discovery. A big "D" day. It is almost the one-year anniversary of Todd's death. (depression). My new manager at work is demanding all of these absolutely ridiculous reports, assessments, etc. and I don't have time to sell a damn thing. She also is insisting on coming here on March 4 (the day before the 1-year-anniversary of Todd's death), to go over her plans for the company. I don't trust her as far as I can throw her ( which isn't far), and I think her timing is just cruel. She wanted to come on the 5th, but I told her no as I would be in no mood to talk to her. I explained the situation, and she said she'd come on the fourth instead ! Is it imperative that she see me next week ? No. She had planned a wine country weekend for her girlfriends and I guess wanted her flight to be paid for by the company, or some such nonsense. (demented - another "D".)
As for the future of the company, do I see the printing business supporting me for next twenty years ? NO. Do I get insurance, or retirement, or any of those good things ? NO. Do I have a job... YES. I know I am better off than many, many people that don't have jobs. I have to keep reminding myself of that.
The "discovery" comes in to play because next week, for the first time in my life, I will be alone ! Max and Lisa have found an apartment in San Francisco and will be moving in. I am so happy that Max is ready to start his life again. It has been a year of him being torn between his own life, and protecting me ! It makes me cry every time I think about what the kids have been through. I have spent a year trying to prove to Max that I can mow the lawn, feed the dogs, fix the car, etc. all by myself. It is like pushing a very big bird out of the nest. I am so happy that he is wanting to leave, but gosh, I will be lonely. I can't remember the last time I cooked for one. I think the dogs are going to become fat from leftovers.
You know, it's different when you are widowed than when you get a divorce. This isn't something I wanted, asked for, or planned. It was not a choice made by either party. By now, when the kids left home, Todd and I were supposed to travel, do things around the house together, maybe find a hobby or two. We were actually looking forward to being empty nesters. How do you feather a nest for one ?
***** just a note. Called church and asked if I could have a mass said for Todd on the 5th. The lady said the fifth was already taken, but would I want a different day. I told her if Todd died again, I'd let her know the new date ! Yes, I am a brat, but COME ON PEOPLE ********
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
not your kind of dancing
He hasn't called yet, and I hate that I am checking the computer for an e-mail every day. I really shouldn't care if he calls again or not. If it was meant to be, it was meant to be. What I should look on the whole experience as is getting the first date over with. AARRGGHHH.
I did buy tickets to Earth, Wind and Fire at the Sonoma Jazz Festival, and there is an extra ticket just in case I meet someone I want to invite. I guess that's a step in the positive direction !
So Lisa and I were at Cheesecake factory last week having lunch and this old (my age), short, greasy, troll-like waiter came and brought our food. He said he was having a good day because he was going dancing after work. To be polite I asked him what type of dancing. He looked at me and said "not your type of dancing......her type of dancing" and sidled up to my 19-year-old. "Club dancing" he said to Lisa, with a little wink. WTF !!!!! Number one, what the hell does he perceive as my kind of dancing? The Waltz ? The Foxtrot? The Funky Chicken ?
And what is he doing flirting with my little girl? Did he really think Lisa was going to push aside her avacado rolls and start dancing in the aisles with him ? It's like when men yell things out of the car window. What are you going to do, chase them to the next stop sign and hop in their car because they are SO SEXY to have been shouting suggestive comments as they drove by. Oh, just what I'm looking for, a loudmouth in a pick-up truck !
The waiter left and Lisa and I looked at each other in stunned silence and said, "did that just happen?" Both of us were horrified.
The dating world isn't easy for a 48-year-old but it isn't easy for a tall, blonde
19-year-old either. That should make me feel better, but it really doesn't. It is really just sad.
I did buy tickets to Earth, Wind and Fire at the Sonoma Jazz Festival, and there is an extra ticket just in case I meet someone I want to invite. I guess that's a step in the positive direction !
So Lisa and I were at Cheesecake factory last week having lunch and this old (my age), short, greasy, troll-like waiter came and brought our food. He said he was having a good day because he was going dancing after work. To be polite I asked him what type of dancing. He looked at me and said "not your type of dancing......her type of dancing" and sidled up to my 19-year-old. "Club dancing" he said to Lisa, with a little wink. WTF !!!!! Number one, what the hell does he perceive as my kind of dancing? The Waltz ? The Foxtrot? The Funky Chicken ?
And what is he doing flirting with my little girl? Did he really think Lisa was going to push aside her avacado rolls and start dancing in the aisles with him ? It's like when men yell things out of the car window. What are you going to do, chase them to the next stop sign and hop in their car because they are SO SEXY to have been shouting suggestive comments as they drove by. Oh, just what I'm looking for, a loudmouth in a pick-up truck !
The waiter left and Lisa and I looked at each other in stunned silence and said, "did that just happen?" Both of us were horrified.
The dating world isn't easy for a 48-year-old but it isn't easy for a tall, blonde
19-year-old either. That should make me feel better, but it really doesn't. It is really just sad.
Friday, February 19, 2010
A First Date !
I went on a date this morning ! I actually met someone I met on chemistry.com for a cup of coffee, and yes, it was JUST a cup of coffee. Actually, he had cold tea but assured me he wasn't Mormon !
I am happy to say that it was not bad at all. In fact, I think he is a really nice man and I could be friends with him. He has two late-20s aged kids, and 3 grandchildren, owns his own company and liked to talk about himself (typical man!)
I wasn't sure how to set up the meeting. Do I do the flower in a book thing like in "You've Got Mail" or do a wear a bow in my hair (God forbid.) I just left it at,
"meet you at 9:30 at EDK." He wrote back and said "I'll be the one wearing the big smile!" Can I get a collective AWWWWWWWW.
When we met he asked me how online dating was going, and I told him that I have decided that most of the men on the site are going through a mid-life crisis, and I am NOT who they are looking for ( he agreed! ). I said I was more like who they left at home when they had their midlife crisis. He laughed and said that wasn't true at all. Okay , points for me for humor and points for him for laughing and saying it wasn't true.
When I got home I sent him a little "nice meeting you" e-mail..... I am polite that way ! He wrote back and said I was beautiful inside and out, and he would love to see me again. God, he gives good e-mail !!!
I am happy to say that it was not bad at all. In fact, I think he is a really nice man and I could be friends with him. He has two late-20s aged kids, and 3 grandchildren, owns his own company and liked to talk about himself (typical man!)
I wasn't sure how to set up the meeting. Do I do the flower in a book thing like in "You've Got Mail" or do a wear a bow in my hair (God forbid.) I just left it at,
"meet you at 9:30 at EDK." He wrote back and said "I'll be the one wearing the big smile!" Can I get a collective AWWWWWWWW.
When we met he asked me how online dating was going, and I told him that I have decided that most of the men on the site are going through a mid-life crisis, and I am NOT who they are looking for ( he agreed! ). I said I was more like who they left at home when they had their midlife crisis. He laughed and said that wasn't true at all. Okay , points for me for humor and points for him for laughing and saying it wasn't true.
When I got home I sent him a little "nice meeting you" e-mail..... I am polite that way ! He wrote back and said I was beautiful inside and out, and he would love to see me again. God, he gives good e-mail !!!
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Truth in Advertising
I think it is important to be yourself. I have heard that while dating people lie about their age, their body type, their height, the lack of hair, etc. I was pretty honest, admitting I am 48-years-old and putting my body type as "curvy." I chose that one because "has muffin tops" was not an option ! To me curvy means hips and boobs.... but perhaps curvy to people reading the profile is cryptic for Mama Cass size. I don't really know. All I know if, it is better to be truthful so there are no surprises later.
My wonderful friend Carol is a gorgeous woman with a fantastic figure, but while we were at a tradeshow together, I learned something about here. She wears two pairs of control top panty hose under her business clothes. Not just one pair, but two, for extra firmness. I had never heard of that before.... sounds uncomfortable, but it's a really good idea. Her husband did tell me that when she takes off her clothes at night you can hear "booooiiiing" as everything jumps back into place.
So thinking about Carol and about my muffin tops, I went to Macys to the "figure control" section of the lingerie department. I went out of town in the middle of the week, hoping no one I knew would spot me. The ladies at the counter asked me if I needed help. I told them, "keep your fingers crossed. I'm going for tummy control." They were laughing so hard they couldn't get their work done.
I am now the proud owner of an undergarment that I think is very close to something my grandmother used to wear! Definitely NOT sexy, but if, as advertised, it really makes you one size smaller..... I may never take off my clothes again !
One flaw though. You can get just tops, which are supposed to help the stomach and hips, but in all the reviews I read it says they creep up while you are wearing them. Who needs an extra roll around their middle ? The one piece garments, which is what I purchased, unfortunately don't come in "thong" or "boyshort", so you have a definite visible panty line if you wear it under slacks.... which is the bulk of my wardrobe. Either I am going to have to start wearing dresses or get creative with a pair of scissors and customize the underclothing to suit my needs !
I wonder if you can wear them under nightgowns ?
Speaking of advertising.... yes, we were... I am watching too much tv because I am an Olympic junkie, and boy are there some lousy ads out there. The one that just bugs me to no end.... " I went to Jared !" These giddy women are all excited that their boyfriend went to Jared, "the galleria of diamonds," for their engagement ring. The fact that they are engaged doesn't seem to be what's making them or their families happy. It's the fact that they went to Jared. Have you ever heard of Jared before this year ? And what exactly is a "galleria" of diamonds ? Sounds like a fancy way of saying "warehouse" or "Walmart" to me ! The only way I'm going to get all that excited about a ring is if it comes in a little blue box from Tiffany's. Now that's something to crow about !
My wonderful friend Carol is a gorgeous woman with a fantastic figure, but while we were at a tradeshow together, I learned something about here. She wears two pairs of control top panty hose under her business clothes. Not just one pair, but two, for extra firmness. I had never heard of that before.... sounds uncomfortable, but it's a really good idea. Her husband did tell me that when she takes off her clothes at night you can hear "booooiiiing" as everything jumps back into place.
So thinking about Carol and about my muffin tops, I went to Macys to the "figure control" section of the lingerie department. I went out of town in the middle of the week, hoping no one I knew would spot me. The ladies at the counter asked me if I needed help. I told them, "keep your fingers crossed. I'm going for tummy control." They were laughing so hard they couldn't get their work done.
I am now the proud owner of an undergarment that I think is very close to something my grandmother used to wear! Definitely NOT sexy, but if, as advertised, it really makes you one size smaller..... I may never take off my clothes again !
One flaw though. You can get just tops, which are supposed to help the stomach and hips, but in all the reviews I read it says they creep up while you are wearing them. Who needs an extra roll around their middle ? The one piece garments, which is what I purchased, unfortunately don't come in "thong" or "boyshort", so you have a definite visible panty line if you wear it under slacks.... which is the bulk of my wardrobe. Either I am going to have to start wearing dresses or get creative with a pair of scissors and customize the underclothing to suit my needs !
I wonder if you can wear them under nightgowns ?
Speaking of advertising.... yes, we were... I am watching too much tv because I am an Olympic junkie, and boy are there some lousy ads out there. The one that just bugs me to no end.... " I went to Jared !" These giddy women are all excited that their boyfriend went to Jared, "the galleria of diamonds," for their engagement ring. The fact that they are engaged doesn't seem to be what's making them or their families happy. It's the fact that they went to Jared. Have you ever heard of Jared before this year ? And what exactly is a "galleria" of diamonds ? Sounds like a fancy way of saying "warehouse" or "Walmart" to me ! The only way I'm going to get all that excited about a ring is if it comes in a little blue box from Tiffany's. Now that's something to crow about !
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Valentine's Day
Happy Valentine's Day to all the lovers out there. To those of us without Valentine's, it is also Chinese New Year, the year of the Tiger. Go out, get some Chinese food, and find the tiger or tigress within you.
Exactly one year ago today I was in the hospital with my husband, Todd, for what was to be the beginning of the end. He had been spitting up blood all day, but didn't tell me because he wanted to finish the taxes! As soon as I signed the papers he said "I think you had better take me to the emergency room." Let me tell you, that was the longest drive to Santa Rosa I ever made. He didn't want me to call the kids.... Max was in San Louis Obispo visiting friends, and Lisa was in Marin at school.....it ended up to be a very long weekend in the cancer ward where he was pumped full of quarts and quarts of blood and plasma. It seemed like the bags would never end. The people at Memorial Hospital were so wonderful. They gave us a private room and let me stay with him the entire weekend. I had brought chocolates and a card for Todd to celebrate Valentine's. I wasn't sure it was the last Valentine's Day we would spend together, but I had an inkling.
Todd never wanted to know just how bad he was, and asked the doctor to never tell him how long he was expected to live. He decided that it would be better if he just lived each day the best he could, not worrying about a future he couldn't change. We had to skip the regular chemo treatment that weekend, and I remember our doctor came in and told us he was going on vacation for a week, and did we want to meet with a different doctor once we were released from the hospital, or did we want to wait until he came back from his holiday. We had decided to wait until he returned. I was telling this to an older doctor who came by the next day to check on Todd, and he looked at me with such concern in his eyes and told me that there was no way Todd was going to be able to have chemo the next week anyway. I could tell he wanted to say something more, and I really think he wanted to prepare me that this was the end, but I guess he knew Todd's wishes, so he didn't say anything.... just shook our hands.
Thankfully Todd was released from the hospital after a 3-day stay. It was a real miracle, and I am so grateful he did not die while the kids were away. Three weeks later when he did pass away, he was ready and the kids and I were there holding him and saying good-bye.
Last Valentine's Day stands out more than any of the other 27 Valentine's Days we had together. Not because it was sad or frightening, though it was both of those. It stands out because we were there, in the hospital, going through the "for worse" part of our wedding vows, knowing we could face anything because we were facing it together,completely and totally united in our love for each other.
So today, for Valentine's Day, I ask that you hold on to the one you love and tell them thank you for every minute of happiness, and even for the minutes that weren't so happy. Love continues, love endures,true love is forever.
Exactly one year ago today I was in the hospital with my husband, Todd, for what was to be the beginning of the end. He had been spitting up blood all day, but didn't tell me because he wanted to finish the taxes! As soon as I signed the papers he said "I think you had better take me to the emergency room." Let me tell you, that was the longest drive to Santa Rosa I ever made. He didn't want me to call the kids.... Max was in San Louis Obispo visiting friends, and Lisa was in Marin at school.....it ended up to be a very long weekend in the cancer ward where he was pumped full of quarts and quarts of blood and plasma. It seemed like the bags would never end. The people at Memorial Hospital were so wonderful. They gave us a private room and let me stay with him the entire weekend. I had brought chocolates and a card for Todd to celebrate Valentine's. I wasn't sure it was the last Valentine's Day we would spend together, but I had an inkling.
Todd never wanted to know just how bad he was, and asked the doctor to never tell him how long he was expected to live. He decided that it would be better if he just lived each day the best he could, not worrying about a future he couldn't change. We had to skip the regular chemo treatment that weekend, and I remember our doctor came in and told us he was going on vacation for a week, and did we want to meet with a different doctor once we were released from the hospital, or did we want to wait until he came back from his holiday. We had decided to wait until he returned. I was telling this to an older doctor who came by the next day to check on Todd, and he looked at me with such concern in his eyes and told me that there was no way Todd was going to be able to have chemo the next week anyway. I could tell he wanted to say something more, and I really think he wanted to prepare me that this was the end, but I guess he knew Todd's wishes, so he didn't say anything.... just shook our hands.
Thankfully Todd was released from the hospital after a 3-day stay. It was a real miracle, and I am so grateful he did not die while the kids were away. Three weeks later when he did pass away, he was ready and the kids and I were there holding him and saying good-bye.
Last Valentine's Day stands out more than any of the other 27 Valentine's Days we had together. Not because it was sad or frightening, though it was both of those. It stands out because we were there, in the hospital, going through the "for worse" part of our wedding vows, knowing we could face anything because we were facing it together,completely and totally united in our love for each other.
So today, for Valentine's Day, I ask that you hold on to the one you love and tell them thank you for every minute of happiness, and even for the minutes that weren't so happy. Love continues, love endures,true love is forever.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Dancing my ass off
First I want to say thank you to everyone who is reading my blog. Today someone told me how much they were enjoying it, and that they wished I blogged more often. Honestly, I thought only my sister, my friend Carol and my friend Tim were the only ones reading it. So readers, if you are enjoying it, let me know !
I have been thinking about dating, just in case I ever do it again, and two words keep popping up in my mind....."Stamina" and "Flexibility." ( Okay, so I have been thinking about sex. So what. It's been a long dry spell..... I like to call it "what they don't tell you about chemo.")
I would hate to be in the middle of something great, and not have the stamina to finish what I've started ! Get your mind out of the gutter. I'm talking about a long hike in the mountains !
So I have decided to walk my rear over to the Community Center three days a week and struggle though an hour of jazzercise. Yes, it does still exist ! There are people in the class who have been doing it for 20 years. I am not sure if they are the fat people or the skinny people.... guess I should figure out a delicate way to ask that question. I am having a great time because when there is music involved, it really doesn't feel like you are exercising, and it's only $4 a class. Frugal and fun !
Joining a class that has been going on for 20 years is interesting. Today I put my mat where someone else always puts their mat on Saturday, and talk about the stink eye ! It is extremely territorial. Add to that the fact that they all know the choreography. I am sure the people around me are rolling their eyes at my lack of coordination. The instructor is having fun..... I keep seeing her cracking up every time I miss a step. I'm glad I am amusing someone ! My one saving grace is that my legs are longer than a lot of people's, so if they get too close and are having a problem with me, I can just "accidentally" kick them. Ha Ha ! Take that ! This is supposed to be fun.
Today it popped into my head that I haven't used birth control in 20 years. I can't even imagine going to the doctor and having that conversation. I don't even know the options anymore. I am sure at my age there are all sorts of risks, but OMG, there are risks everywhere. Dating really is a mine field. Did I already write that someone on their match.com page actually put there were looking for a woman who was subservient. Can you believe it ? Who are these people.
Of course, all of this is putting the cart before the horse because I haven't even dated anyone yet. I do have a potential "meet and greet" for next weekend..... so stay tuned readers. There's more to come.
I have been thinking about dating, just in case I ever do it again, and two words keep popping up in my mind....."Stamina" and "Flexibility." ( Okay, so I have been thinking about sex. So what. It's been a long dry spell..... I like to call it "what they don't tell you about chemo.")
I would hate to be in the middle of something great, and not have the stamina to finish what I've started ! Get your mind out of the gutter. I'm talking about a long hike in the mountains !
So I have decided to walk my rear over to the Community Center three days a week and struggle though an hour of jazzercise. Yes, it does still exist ! There are people in the class who have been doing it for 20 years. I am not sure if they are the fat people or the skinny people.... guess I should figure out a delicate way to ask that question. I am having a great time because when there is music involved, it really doesn't feel like you are exercising, and it's only $4 a class. Frugal and fun !
Joining a class that has been going on for 20 years is interesting. Today I put my mat where someone else always puts their mat on Saturday, and talk about the stink eye ! It is extremely territorial. Add to that the fact that they all know the choreography. I am sure the people around me are rolling their eyes at my lack of coordination. The instructor is having fun..... I keep seeing her cracking up every time I miss a step. I'm glad I am amusing someone ! My one saving grace is that my legs are longer than a lot of people's, so if they get too close and are having a problem with me, I can just "accidentally" kick them. Ha Ha ! Take that ! This is supposed to be fun.
Today it popped into my head that I haven't used birth control in 20 years. I can't even imagine going to the doctor and having that conversation. I don't even know the options anymore. I am sure at my age there are all sorts of risks, but OMG, there are risks everywhere. Dating really is a mine field. Did I already write that someone on their match.com page actually put there were looking for a woman who was subservient. Can you believe it ? Who are these people.
Of course, all of this is putting the cart before the horse because I haven't even dated anyone yet. I do have a potential "meet and greet" for next weekend..... so stay tuned readers. There's more to come.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Salsa without a partner
Just back from Salsa dance class. It is not as much fun without a partner. There are younger couples there getting ready for their wedding. Their are older couples who look at each other so lovingly across the dance floor. It makes me very lonely.
Then I come home and log on to the dating web site only to see "people interested in you -- 0." Great, even cyberspace is rejecting me.
My mother let me know that she put the word out in town that I was ready to date again. I know she felt she was being supportive and loving, but for Pete's sake. I am a 48-year-old woman ! I felt like I was in a middle aged production of Fiddler on the Roof, with a very familiar yenta. Truth be told, when I was in high school sitting home with a bowl of ice cream because I didn't have any dates, the people's sons she tried to fix me up with were pretty bad. As a favor to my dad, one mother asked her son to go out with me. We had never met, but he had been drinking the entire night before and showed up at the door with vomit all down the front of him. Not the best moment of my life. Here's the kicker, I went out with him anyway so our parents wouldn't be disappointed. How lame is that ?
Actually, now as an adult I am friends with his sister and I haven't the heart to tell her just what a cad her baby brother was. One of these days I am going to have to stop being nice.
Then I come home and log on to the dating web site only to see "people interested in you -- 0." Great, even cyberspace is rejecting me.
My mother let me know that she put the word out in town that I was ready to date again. I know she felt she was being supportive and loving, but for Pete's sake. I am a 48-year-old woman ! I felt like I was in a middle aged production of Fiddler on the Roof, with a very familiar yenta. Truth be told, when I was in high school sitting home with a bowl of ice cream because I didn't have any dates, the people's sons she tried to fix me up with were pretty bad. As a favor to my dad, one mother asked her son to go out with me. We had never met, but he had been drinking the entire night before and showed up at the door with vomit all down the front of him. Not the best moment of my life. Here's the kicker, I went out with him anyway so our parents wouldn't be disappointed. How lame is that ?
Actually, now as an adult I am friends with his sister and I haven't the heart to tell her just what a cad her baby brother was. One of these days I am going to have to stop being nice.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Thank you for your coming
I was getting a mani/pedi yesterday and the sign above the door of the shop said,
"thank you for your coming." After I stopped laughing, thinking of the places you could use this phrase besides a nail salon.....it dawned on me that we could use a lot more politeness in the world.
When was the last time someone in a store, in your job, on-line or even in your own home said thank you in a truly sincere manner? I know I am guilty of being short with people, especially if I'm tired or have too many things on my mind. I have been watching and learning from my daughter just how to behave. She is so extremely polite to people in department stores, clubs, grocery stores, etc. I hope to be like her some day.
Speaking of politeness, Mr "cup of coffee" was extremely curt over the internet and so I told him that No, I did not want to meet him. Of course, I tried to be polite and let him down easily instead of saying that he sounded scary and mean. I told him I just wasn't ready to date yet. His response..."Whatever. Take your profile off this site then!!!!!!" Yes, all the exclamation points were his.
I think I dodged a bullet there.
"thank you for your coming." After I stopped laughing, thinking of the places you could use this phrase besides a nail salon.....it dawned on me that we could use a lot more politeness in the world.
When was the last time someone in a store, in your job, on-line or even in your own home said thank you in a truly sincere manner? I know I am guilty of being short with people, especially if I'm tired or have too many things on my mind. I have been watching and learning from my daughter just how to behave. She is so extremely polite to people in department stores, clubs, grocery stores, etc. I hope to be like her some day.
Speaking of politeness, Mr "cup of coffee" was extremely curt over the internet and so I told him that No, I did not want to meet him. Of course, I tried to be polite and let him down easily instead of saying that he sounded scary and mean. I told him I just wasn't ready to date yet. His response..."Whatever. Take your profile off this site then!!!!!!" Yes, all the exclamation points were his.
I think I dodged a bullet there.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
What's in a name?
I've been thinking about my post name on a certain dating site. My first name was domadams..... my name is Domini, my grandmother was an Adams. Seemed reasonable to me. I got all sorts of "looks", "winks" and "messages" using this name.
Does anyone else see that when you look at it closely it says "do madams?"
Neither did I, at least not for a week or two. Once I realized I quickly changed it to "sweetnsmart." No hits. No interest. No action. I was only interesting with "do madams!" How depressing is that ?
I told my cousin about it, and she said that the worst two words to use in a post name on a dating site are "sweet" and "smart." Terrific. I picked both ! It's like saying you have a "good personality." Dating kryptonite.
So where do you find a good post name? Is it a favorite food ? I don't think "twice baked potato" gives the right image, do you ? I already have to put that my body type is "curvy." Don't want to push it too far.
How about a favorite song? - Hallelujah doesn't cut it, and I'm not sure how to spell it. Favorite book ? The Drifters ? Nope.
We looked around the store we were in, and found a cookbook title we thought might work: "Cooking for two." It says "I can cook." It says,"I want to cook for you." Oops, it also could be construed as me being pregnant. Scratch that one.
One of my client's suggested "Italianlover." Ummmm, that's a big NO.
Guess I'll have to keep trying....
Does anyone else see that when you look at it closely it says "do madams?"
Neither did I, at least not for a week or two. Once I realized I quickly changed it to "sweetnsmart." No hits. No interest. No action. I was only interesting with "do madams!" How depressing is that ?
I told my cousin about it, and she said that the worst two words to use in a post name on a dating site are "sweet" and "smart." Terrific. I picked both ! It's like saying you have a "good personality." Dating kryptonite.
So where do you find a good post name? Is it a favorite food ? I don't think "twice baked potato" gives the right image, do you ? I already have to put that my body type is "curvy." Don't want to push it too far.
How about a favorite song? - Hallelujah doesn't cut it, and I'm not sure how to spell it. Favorite book ? The Drifters ? Nope.
We looked around the store we were in, and found a cookbook title we thought might work: "Cooking for two." It says "I can cook." It says,"I want to cook for you." Oops, it also could be construed as me being pregnant. Scratch that one.
One of my client's suggested "Italianlover." Ummmm, that's a big NO.
Guess I'll have to keep trying....
Cup of Coffee and other dangerous phrases
I got a hit on a dating site (scary, I know), and the guy asked to meet me for a cup of coffee. Sounded good so I said yes. Then I got to thinking, does "cup of coffee" really mean cup of coffee, or has that changed too ? Enter urbandictionary.com.
OMG!!!! I was appalled to find out that "cup of coffee" apparently is code for sex, or refers to an orgasm. Imagine my surprise ! Be careful, ladies, when you agree to a cup of coffee with someone !
Other words to watch out for:
"the time" - giving someone "the time" means having sex with them. "Pardon me, do you have the time" is no longer something we can say !
"teabag" - I don't even want to write what this one is. Suffice it to say that includes dunking a body part in someone's mouth.
"toss salad" - When someone asks you what you want to have to eat, NEVER say "I would like a toss salad." This involves licking and rear ends. Lettuce will never be looked at the same way again !
If you want to know other words to avoid, go to urbandictionary.com or ask your teenager ! Now I know why they are always snickering at menus!
As for me, I am going to write back to the dating site, tell the guy there is NO WAY I want to go for coffee, and then perhaps become a mute !
OMG!!!! I was appalled to find out that "cup of coffee" apparently is code for sex, or refers to an orgasm. Imagine my surprise ! Be careful, ladies, when you agree to a cup of coffee with someone !
Other words to watch out for:
"the time" - giving someone "the time" means having sex with them. "Pardon me, do you have the time" is no longer something we can say !
"teabag" - I don't even want to write what this one is. Suffice it to say that includes dunking a body part in someone's mouth.
"toss salad" - When someone asks you what you want to have to eat, NEVER say "I would like a toss salad." This involves licking and rear ends. Lettuce will never be looked at the same way again !
If you want to know other words to avoid, go to urbandictionary.com or ask your teenager ! Now I know why they are always snickering at menus!
As for me, I am going to write back to the dating site, tell the guy there is NO WAY I want to go for coffee, and then perhaps become a mute !
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